Why Do I Lose My Patience
HAVE YOU EVER LOST YOUR PATIENTS?
One of the best ways to be a Christian witness is to exercise the fruit of patience. When the pressures of life mount up, it's natural to want to find someone to blame for everything that ales us. The mature Christian should be able to resist the nature of the flesh. We should look for opportunities to catch people doing good instead of eagerly laying in wait to catch them messing up. Pointing out the shortcomings of others does not add any value to the accuser.
I have found that I can increase my patience by Looking for good in others. We all have strengths and weaknesses. We are supposed to use our strengths to cover our neighbor’s weaknesses. In turn, our neighbor will use his strength to cover our shortcomings.
It’s natural to feel annoyed when someone does something differently than you would have done it. Remind yourself that different is not the same as evil. God designed us to be different. The more I look at differences as a positive, the more I increase my patience.
I LOSE MY PATIENCE WHEN I CARRY STRESS
We have a great proposal by our Lord to go to Him with our heavy burdens. Mathew 11:28, 29 Go to Him early and often. Let those feelings of frustration, anger, and annoyance be a reminder for you to talk to the Lord. The Apostle Paul was one of the most impatient leaders of the entire Bible. Two of the keys to victory he taught were to repent daily and pray without ceasing.
I LOSE MY PATIENCE WHEN I SEE PEOPLE AS PROBLEMS
When we combine people and problems, our stress level rises tremendously! People are people, and problems are problems. If you are facing a problem, don’t look for someone to blame it on, just solve the problem. When we personify our problems, we make things far more difficult than they need to be.
Attaching a face to a problem will make you emotional. When we experience heightened emotions, the problem-solving part of the brain, or prefrontal cortex, shuts down so that more energy can be directed to the instinctive part of the brain called the brain stem. The brain stem is responsible for our involuntary actions like breathing blinking and survival instincts. The prefrontal cortex is the part of our brain that allows us to reason. Putting a face on a problem is a quick way to simulate a fight or flight scenario. When the brain goes into fight or flight mode, it devotes all of its resources to survival. This starves the part of the brain that has the problem-solving capabilities needed to resolve the situation. Every time this happens, I lose my patience.
I INCREASE MY PATIENCE WHEN I SOLVE PROBLEMS
A problem is a thing and things don’t fight back. When things are out of place, I can figure out where they should be and put them there. If a stack of blocks falls down, I just need to pick them up. They won’t resist because they are blocks. If I have too many tasks to do in the amount of time allotted, I might perceive anyone who attempts to add to my workload as my problem. In reality, the person attempting to add to your workload may very well be making your existing problem worse, but they are not the problem. The problem is too much work.
When someone feels that a person is their problem they will inevitably attempt to solve the problem through confrontation. This only serves to ruin relationships, while doing nothing to solve the actual problem. A better course of action is to determine what changes are most favorable and practical. For instance, is it possible to get help with the workload, or to ask for more time?
SUMMARY
Keep your problems separate from your people. Remember people are not out to get you. Someone’s agenda may be adding to your problem but that can usually be corrected with a simple act of communication. Problems increase our stress when we personify them, so keep it simple and solve them logically instead of responding emotionally. Heightened emotions keep us stuck in survival mode while loving people and solving problems allow us to answer the call of God to live an abundant life.
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly John 10:10
Written by Mike Verdin
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